I’m convinced that I’m essentially permatripping and have escaped being a monkey. I return to this world and be a normal monkey recurrently, it just isn’t my natural state. They try to portray people like me as even more primitive than a monkey, a dinosaur, that’s what’s funny. People get mad and rationalize why they shouldn’t deal with the stress of higher-order thinking. I don’t even feel like I’m a human most days. Aurobindo speaks of this, a sort of consciousness that is above your actual skull. I need to feed it with food, otherwise there’s not much of a connection to the monkey. I’m not trying to be mean when I say that I imagine humanity as something similar to a child that needs to be held. Subconsciously most adults are like this. They’re happier living on the earth rather than heaven. I live in hell too, I won’t pretend that isn’t part of the promethean pact or whatever you want to call it. Just describing my experience. It’s like a concentration of electricity that exists above and slightly behind my skull. That’s where I live, and the eyes I look through I don’t really identify with. Most believe people only what is necessary for animal survival and tell themselves it’s something more than that. Know how many days in a row I’ve left my house expecting to be shot? If it happens oh well, I’m the electric bundle outside of my skull. Speaking of “puppets”. It doesn’t even matter talking about most things I do because it’s all interpreted by the monkeys. They are unable to have consciousness of their subconscious which is what is really in control of them, and that tells them to believe “reasons” why they should believe whatever keeps them alive in the status world of Mammon. What you’re supposed to believe is divine is alterable, and when you go to that mental state where you can alter it there is a stress involved that people would rather not deal with, so they tend to live in forgetfulness in the world, and when a jester mocks them they dismiss it as a one-way ticket to hell, when the reality is that it’s both heaven and hell, rather than earth.

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