Start the day seeing what Aquinas and Polybius have to say about cycles of political regimes and meh. Google greatest saints of all time, 9/10 results are about the new orleans saints. I’m looking to have an epiphany here somehow. Man shall not live on bread alone, said Jesus. At this point of having been a nerd for years I need really advanced kind of writings or else I’m going to fall asleep reading it. Half the problem is me the person reading it, because if I’m in the right mood I can find the divine in anything no matter how simplistic it is. Still, with the best writings, the best revelations I will have.

Can you imagine a Heideggerian church? People, including its own members, would see it as larping. Yet something like that needs to exist. “Why does it NEED to exist?” Because we’re social animal and if we’re around either materialists or christ-fanatics then they pull us down to their level. The forces of gravity that have tried to pull me down from the air over the years, you could never imagine. If there was a group of people like me who met every week to (non-ironically) discuss things outside of demos-approved discourse it would make it a lot easier for me to find the divine in everything. Everyone needs something like that. Heidegger is one of a few thinkers that people can choose from based on their temperament. Some people say I should just settle for the New Testament, and.. that just doesn’t do it for me, it’s too simple, it’s made for old ladies. Excuse my blasphemy. I bet even most old ladies would like to hear the Heidegger take on things, and that her perception of Is-ness would be sharpened from it. The question is, what actually gives life meaning? Because if you’re just working, you’re just raising kids, you’re just having temporary fun with hobbies and vacations there seems to be an emptiness there, or a lack of a broader context in which you’re doing all those things. It seems like the meaning of life is to do objective good in the world, i.e. Good. And then the question is, what grounds that? Because otherwise you have a relativism where what’s Good to you might as well be Bad because it’s not objective. Subjectivism leads inexorably to this emptiness I speak of. There’s no higher guidance, and no sacred Telos to align one’s life with. At least not in the modern world. Some people, like those Mormons, are perfectly happy, and you can even tell by the way they act that they do seem genuinely happy. Thing is, I just naturally ask too many questions for that. So I need a less simplistic “religion”. Then there’s the problem of living in a place where enough people who you relatively agree with getting together and having a church based around it. Again, I see no other option. People NEED this, otherwise they lapse into materialism and hedonism. People need others who believe in more or less the same things beyond a materialistic standpoint or else they’re doomed. The society can’t agree about spiritual matters, it’s only politics they mostly agree on, and that’s not enough. It’s not enough to only know people through screens too, not to mention. Do you see how dismal that is? Just living in a simulation of a society. Yes I bitterly laugh thinking about that. Is this the fucking Sims we’re living in? Politico-religious MMORPG. Meaningless fantasy-world. I think the library is open now, I’m gonna go there and hit on the librarian, at least she’ll be wearing a mask so I can’t see her faint mustache. Okay that’s mean. What are we supposed to do? People probably write me off as some species of channer, when I truly believe that the 109 is one of the most pressing philosophical matters of our time, and that in a more just world I’d be among my fellow “church-goers” in a university department dedicated to that among other subjects. In the “sermons” of this imagined church of mine, you really think that his wartime notebooks will never be brought up, regarding the ideas of uprooting and calculativeness? These are both things that are opposed to Spirit, and they’re mainstream. We’ve all been uprooted from culture, from religion, in order to serve the ends of the NWO, which is non-exclusive and seeks to gather all strands together, whether high or low, noble or base, and which results in the divinization of bread, circuses, and other vices. Non-Judgment is the God of our political order. Do you think God doesn’t judge people? Everything is upside-down. God judges this pseudo-religion of modernity that we have.

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