If someone roofied you with the truth-serum version of PCP and you woke up the next day slowly realizing that you spent hours writing threads on social media with content similar to the stuff I write about isn’t the mood you’d expect to be having best described as terror?

“That wasn’t me!” – How would you defend yourself?

Even if everything you wrote you truly believe?

“It’s just history, it’s just psychology, it’s just the philosophy of religion.”

No, you’d probably apologize.

Something you believe that you’d be terrified if others knew you believed it. Or am I wrong?

Would living like that cause a mental illness? Pretending to be someone you’re not for decades? Must wear on one. They must gradually absorb into consensus reality so there isn’t that burden of a double-self.

I have an integrated self, that must be part of why the double-selves hate me.

Given who controls technology, your version of “integrated self” that absorbs into consensus reality to avoid mental illness is Silicon Valley edition. Silicon Valley edition human being tm. A personality with a barcode. You’re a hippie, there just isn’t a word for what you are yet. I’m sure historians will have one. I can think of some cruel names you could probably imagine.

All these problems of society that everyone is literally “terrified” to bring up – a people with dignity that is not. What name would you give them?

No dignity, no integrity, a collection of grifters. All in silent agreement that “I won’t accuse you if you don’t accuse me.”

It IS terror that seems to be at the base of it all. Everything stems from that. A social contract based on terror.

That terror usually leads to a false self where the terror disappears. No terror if no double-self. The self made into an immaculate replica of the society.

I said I was going to watch the morning!

I pretty much still am – examining the dawn of selfhood, from darkness to light.

A self’s identity is like the morning, and a person’s life is like one day. That’s why it’s futile to talk- the light that emerges from the darkness is that false self. Most probably never even have a double-consciousness to begin with. They don’t remember when they were asleep–where that potential terror is–they only remember the morning when they woke up, and they’ll live that one life through the afternoon, and in the night they will die.

Unless you wouldn’t feel terrified if you woke up realizing that you wrote a bunch in public the way I do? What’s that about? Want to tell me? About that terror? WHO ARE YOU?

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