Sometimes you go for a walk and acceptance just washes over you, and all you can do is smile. Sometimes I ask myself What is the point of being a scapegoat? Then I realize that IS the point, being a scapegoat is the very point. That is Being. The alternative is letting evil people get away with it without saying anything against them. What’s the benefit of being a scapegoat? That you are it. I just try to describe what it’s like because I don’t think people understand. Most days for the last few years have always been a “bad day”, that’s just how it is when you think and talk about the things I do. Don’t expect anything positive out of it. The truth is, what you really are seeking is to have bad days constantly, because if you defy the herd you will not have good days. Am I warming anyone up to this? I can’t remember the last good day I’ve had, it’s definitely been a few years. What I always realize in moments of clarity though is that I prefer that. The alternative is being a coward. Plus, it can’t be overstated that a certain perception is not possible unless you personally put yourself out there in ways that open you up to being the scapegoat. Only then can you see things clearly. I’d go so far as to say that me merely talking to you about that perception isn’t going to impart the perception, because you have to personally experience it yourself. When I talk about the irrationality of the rabble those are probably just empty words to you. No, that’s real. That is most of humanity, including most of the exceptional types. I literally look down on most of the “brains” of our culture, whether they’re the nose-people or the educational institutions, and you know that I’m right to look down upon them. You don’t know what that perception is unless you do it yourself. Being a scapegoat is a great honor to me, it’s a blessing. Still though, I’m turning 30 next month and I can’t focus so much on this stuff for the rest of my life. The next 2/3rds of my life, I’m excited. While I know I won’t be living my dream (of either theorizing a civil war or fighting in one) I’m sure I will find some kind of fulfillment on God’s green earth. It’s one of those cases where you set your ideal too high so you’re disappointed. It’s like, disintegrating the foundations of the political order is against the terms of service, so you’re not going to be able to do that on an institutional level. Alright, good, I just accept that. I see the first third of my life as having experienced the range of what is possible in human cognition when freed from all restrictions. That’s how every person should spend their 20s if you ask me. Seriously, you probably don’t know what I’m talking about unless you experience it personally. I literally look down upon virtually all humans on this planet and I don’t think I’m wrong to. You are slaves, in various ways. Maybe you’ve gotten at least some idea of what that perception is like if you’ve read my writings during these years. There are higher awarenesses that aren’t allowed, and I don’t think they’re evil. They’re painted evil because they don’t want people being truly sovereign. It’s been fun.

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